You Know You're Old When...

1. You look for fish and vegetables for your meals.
I'm sure we all went through childhood being force-fed our greens. I remember I hated eating ampalaya or bitter melon, because it's, well, bitter. I would eat it with lots of rice until I couldn't even taste it. But after years of being shoved down my throat, I got used to it and eventually loved it.

And now living on our own, eating fast food and unhealthy stuff, has made me long for home-cooked fish and veggies. I don't remember feeling this way 10 years ago. I guess the older your body gets, the more it will look for nutritious food that will nourish its old bones and joints.

2. You meet up with friends and all you talk about is politics and current events.
When have weekend get-togethers with friends turned from all-night partying in a club to all-night gab fest in a coffee shop? Worse, topics have turned into old people stuff- news, politics, the economy. But the weird thing is I have begun to really enjoy discussing them. I think some invisible line has been crossed here.

3. You find teenagers very annoying.
They're the group of kids who try to dress and act as if they're older. Wanting to look cool, but end up looking like fools. They come in groups and 'talk' boisterously like they own the place.

I'm so mean, as if I've never been a teenager myself. Sure, I had my baduy moments as a teenager but of course, I was never this rude and annoying.

4. You know what the Dewey Decimal System is.
For those who don't know (young or old) the Dewey Decimal System is what's used in libraries to oganize books accodring to category: General References, Religion, etc. I just miss hanging out in the library, browsing through dusty bookshelves, searching for a good read. If you want to do research, you'd have to browse through all those books before you find what you were looking for. Now there's the Internet and Wikipedia, and it has made things much easier for the plagiarists. Tsk tsk.

5. You start hanging out with your parents
Lazy weekend afternoons are now spent malling with the folks, or just hanging out in the backyard. You now have conversations instead of arguments. You swap stories and talk about anything under the sun.

And that's when you begin to see them as who they are and not as your parents.

6. You turn on the radio and hear noise instead of music.
You don't care for Justin Bieber nor his girlish looks. You start looking for 80s and 90s songs, and say, "Now that's music!"

7. You are home on a Friday night.
'Nuff said.

P.S. This post was more than a month in the making. Gosh, the new job and environment is really affecting my creativity! Haha, yeah right.

Soundtrack Sunday: With A Smile

After talking about songs of artists from different countries, I think it's right about time to feature something from my own.

The Eraserheads became cult favorites when I was in high school (I remember critics were describing them as the Pinoy Beatles). They were the epitome of cool and everything angsty in our generation.



It was election time for our student council board, and one student running for office sang this song as part of her platform! I can't recall now if she won, haha!

Soundtrack Sunday: Sweet Soul Revue

From K-Pop, let's go to J-Pop this week.

Pizzicato Five's Sweet Soul Revue hit the charts around the 90s. I remember I used to practice the dance moves non-stop. Even if I don't understand a single word in the song (except for 1, 2, 3...), it's very catchy that you want to get up and dance, and just make up your own lyrics!



Wakarimasen! Just dance along :)

Trike

Yesterday, after at least 10 years, I got to ride a tricycle-- not in the side car, but on the bike behind the driver. What an experience! I was scared of falling off during the entire trip, that my knuckles have turned white from gripping the handles very tightly.

It was different when I was younger because I used to enjoy it. It's more fun and dangerous that way-- in short it was kinda cool, for a girl to sit that way. And I've also always found sitting in the side car very suffocating.

But now, it's the opposite. I prefer to sit inside because I feel it's safer and it's more comfortable. (Yes, I know very lola-ish.)

And yet, last night's ride was nothing compared to what happened earlier. I had to ride behind the driver again, AND I was wearing a friggin' shirt dress! AND, the driver's side didn't have a roof over it (see picture) so I had to grip real tight on the side of the side car. If you can't picture me out in this scenario, it's because of the sheer awkwardness of this position. I had to hang on for dear life while making sure that my dress doesn't reveal anything the public doesn't want to see.

Aside from the very bumpy road, what made this a very pleasant ride was the fact that the driver was driving too close to cars who were moving on the opposite direction! I had to keep my legs and feet real close to me (not too close or my I might lose my feet to the motor's wheel. Yikes!). All this time I was praying to the Lord that I don't die yet.

Not this way, at least. It's just too embarrassing.

Raj Raj Raj ah ah

I'm not gonna talk about Venus' major major almost-win, but instead, I'm going to talk about her fans (who I think are more popular than her now).

They rose to fame because of the very funny video they took of themselves while watching the Miss Universe pageant. They're gayer than gay, which is very entertaining to say the least. To those who have never seen it, here it is...



After becoming overnight Youtube sensations, they got invited to a local TV show!



And as if this was not enough, they now have their own commercial!



Goes to show how easy it is now to get your 15 mins of fame. Lucky bastards. Hmph.

And The List Gets Longer

First Thing #18- Pay my own rent
Yes, after 30 years, this is the first time I've paid for my own rent. Up until now I have always lived with my parents, basically living a free loader's life. Although I left home for college, I still lived with relatives so that's still not counted as living on my own.

When we (my brothers and I) first moved in to the apartment last week, I felt a sudden rush of pride, for doing something as mature as this. And yet when I handed the rent money to the landlady, I almost didn't let go haha! Well, I thought of it but I didn't really do it :) I guess it's just the newness and the reality of it all that scares me. Will I still be able to pay the rent next month?

I pray to God, yes!

First Thing #19- Do some housekeeping stuff
Connected to moving to my own place, I also had to buy home stuff like pillows, pails, broom, etc. These are the things I don't usually think about when I'm at home because they're just there. Now, I have to scour for these things and even have to go to stores where I can buy them cheap. (That's also a first time for me, budgeting) I have also learned to take my time in shopping, making the most practical and cost-efficient choice.

I also had to learn to do regular house-cleaning chores (but most of it I delegate to my brother, hehe), and be obsessive-compulsive when it comes to making sure that all our doors and gate have been securely locked.

Since we don't have a fridge and working stove yet, one chore I utterly dread would have to be learned much later. Whew! (If you must know, it's cooking)

First Thing #20- Repair an umbrella by myself
Sorry, I know this is kinda weird and somehow un-related to the first two.

Living and commuting here in Manila, it's mandatory that one should be armed with an umbrella always, since the weather is unpredictable- terribly hot now, then terribly wet the next. As such, the daily rigors of weather-changing has taken its toll on my poor umbrella. After only a month, it's been un-stitched at the ribs and tips.

So instead of bringing it to the repair shop and spend a couple of hundred bucks, I just decided to fix it myself. All I needed was thread and needle, and voila! It's now good as new!

Soundtrack Sunday: Nobody But You

Ok. Now that its popularity/notoriety has finally died down, I think I can finally post this.



Yes, I admit I've been one of those who went crazy over the Wonder Girls' Nobody But You. Crazy to the point of knowing the dance steps. And I blame this on my gay friends!

I first heard the song early last year, on our way to our Bantayan Island trip. Needless to say, it became the theme song for the whole trip and we looked like a bad Pinoy movie-- bursting into song and dance on the beach. So gay! Haha!

Next thing I know, you hear it playing in every street corner with kids and adults alike dancing to it's catchy (almost maddeningly irritating) tune.

So what's your memory of this song? :)

Love In The Strangest of Places

I'm wondering if things like this really do happen in real life. And if they do, how come it hasn't happened to people I know? Or even me?



But who knows? A friend said, lightning could strike. And I hope it does ;)

Soundtrack Sunday: Love Is All Around

I know it's not a Sunday, but since I've been behind my Soundtrack Sunday updates, I figured now's as good a time as, well Sunday.

Earlier today, while I was going home from work, it started raining really hard. Under my flimsy umbrella and trudging along a muddy street, I was soaking wet. That's when I remembered the 90s band Wet Wet Wet (what a connection!)

Then of course I started singing in my head their most famous hit, Love Is All Around. I think this was part of the movie soundtrack for Four Weddings & A Funeral, but I'm not so sure. (Of course, it was more recently used in another High Grant movie, Love Actually, where it was used as a Christmas song for the comeback of a rock has-been) All I remember was this was such a hit when I was in high school that I still remember the lyrics to the song. Sing with me!



What's your memory of this song? :)

White, Not Pink

Last Thursday night, I was in a mall waiting for my brother, when I saw this booth for a skin whitening product. I began reading its poster, which boasts of the wonders it will do to your normal problem areas:

* Underarms
* Inner Thighs
* Knees
* Elbows
* Areola
* Other dark spo...

Whoa! Did I just read Areola?! There is actually a demand for this?! When has this become a problem area?! I mean, why the hell would someone want to whiten their areola? Nobody would be able to know the difference! (Of course, I’m assuming that the user is not in the habit of showing off her bosom in public. But I may be wrong.)

I know Filipinos are very much into these products to get that fairer skin they’ve been dreaming of. But this? Madness!

And to think a very popular local actress is endorsing this product, and her face is all over the promo materials. Has she really used it on her so-called problem areas? I’m guessing she probably doesn’t know what areola means.

More First Things

This past week, I'm happy to report that I have done 3 more First Things. Er, note that I'm not really proud of most of these, but at least my First Things list is getting longer hehe.

First Thing #15 - See a male stripper in a bridal shower.
Scratch that. I think he was more of a male dancer than a stripper. He was merely gyrating to dance music in his tighty-whities. And he was even texting while dancing. Talk about multi-tasking! He had a well-toned body (of course), was tall, dark but not at all handsome. No amount of booze made him any more good-looking in my drunken eyes. I also don't get why he had to wear sunglasses at night ('80s babies, does the song sound familiar? Hehe.) My theory is, either he's cross-eyed or he's just ashamed of what he's doing. I'm so mean. In short, it's not what I expected of a stripper. (Do I hear a tone of disappointment there?)

How I got to this age without even seeing a male stripper is beyond me. I mean I've had lots of friends who already got married but I guess the shower parties I've been to were always wholesome. And I think I've also somehow avoided going to the parties where they hired strippers. I've always been somehow prudish in that sense. But after this, I realized it really was no big deal. If you know what I mean.. *wink wink*

First Thing #16 - Get puking drunk.
Ugh. It's disgusting, I know. I will never drink tequila again. EVER.
I mean I was doing fine during the party. I drank my usual tolerable amount of alcohol- 7 shots (at least) of tequila, and 8 or more shots of that gin/vodka combo. The actual count is still vague. I didn't have dinner, just some finger food, and I was also tired from the house-hunting during the day. I guess that did it for me.
When I got home, I was still able to change clothes, watch a bit of TV and then I decided to go to bed. After a few minutes of lying down, it felt like the room started to spin and that's when it happened. I was able to reach the kitchen sink though, so I didn't really make a mess. When I woke up the next morning, my stomach still felt queasy and it happened again a couple more times.
That really was a first for me and I promise that that would be the last. But it's just so embarrassing that I can't even maintain my drinking average now. Another downside to getting old.

First Thing #17- Work in Manila
Finally, something very mature! As mentioned in my previous posts, I have already moved here in Manila for work. I've lived here before but after staying in Cebu for quite some time, I'm finding it a bit hard getting back to the ultra fast-paced life here. Aside from being away from my parents and friends, I also had to let go of the comfortable lifestyle that I was used to. No more househelp, no more home-cooked meal, no more car, no more Wifi. I'm proud to say though that in one week, I've learned to commute to and from work by riding a jeepney, cooked breakfast for myself (just bacon and eggs, hehe), did my laundry, and did some house-hunting. That's a big feat for someone like me.

I hope to be making more First Things in the next few months, given that I'm in a new environment and surrounded by new people. Hopefully these will be more grown-up things and more age-appropriate. I'm certain too, that I'll have other (mis)adventures here in Manila, and for sure I'll share them all with you.

The Harrowing Experience That Was The FSO Exams

It's been more than three weeks since I took the panel interview and written exam portions of the FSO exam in Manila. Just goes to show how nerve-wracking and stressful the whole experience was, that I needed lots of time to rest and recuperate. I also needed time to look for my brain and regain the IQ points I lost in a span of one week, so I can come up with coherent sentences to tell you all about it. (That, and I was also busy preparing for my move to Manila.)

Since I passed the preliminary exam I took on my birthday, I was qualified to move on to the next stage, which was the panel interview. I was really anxious about this given that my last interview was for the UP LAE, which was very traumatic (not an exaggeration, but that's another story). Although, I was kinda hoping it's just for formalities' sake where they would only ask questions about what I do and why I wanted to become a foreign service officer. But what I was about to face was nothing short of paralyzing (yes, still not an exaggeration).

I was called in to a room (looked like a classroom) and was asked to sit in front of the panel- composed of an ambassador and two foreign service officers. I was like the new teacher facing my bad-ass students. For my work, I was asked these questions:

- What are the good ROP bonds right now?
- How about corporate bonds? (I was made to enumerate specific bonds for the first 2 questions)
- What's the difference between a UITF and a Common Trust Fund?
- If you were to invest the funds of the Foreign Service, will you invest them here in the Phils. or abroad?

Intense questions, but manageable. I mean, I'm supposed to know these things because they're part of my job. But the next phase of the interview was the piece de resistance of that wonderful day. I can't even remember how we got to this type of questioning:

- Do you think the presence of American troops in Iraq is justified? Do you think the war is justified?
- Do you think the war in Afghanistan is justified?
- How about the Ampatuans? Can the Americans just come in our country and fight them?
- In Saudi Arabia, you can go to mosques. In Abu Dhabi (Pardon me, but I can't recall if I'm naming the correct country) you can't go to church. Is that fair?

Sheeesh. I mean I expected the interview to be hard. But not this hard! Here's some of our memorable exchanges:

Amb: "If you file a complaint to the UN against Saudi Arabia, what do you think will happen?"
Me: "Sir, me personally?" (Hahaha! Dumb blonde moment happens to me when I'm stressed out)
Amb: "I mean the Philippines. What will happen if the Phils. files a complaint?"
Me: "Sir, there would be a strained relationship between the 2 countries"
Amb: "What do you think will be the immediate effect?"
Me: "Armed conflict?" (Hahaha, you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes!)
Amb: "Not yet. What do you think will be the effect?"
Me: "Safety of our OFWs in Saudi..."
Amb: "Correct. A Foreign Service officer must always think about his fellow Filipinos first and foremost. That's what you call prudence. What is prudence?"
Me: (jaw drops) "Um, right judgment?"
Amb: "Foresight, blah blah blah" (He was rattling off the synonyms of Prudence.)

Amb: "Compare the reign of Charlemagne with the current European Union."
Me: (I'm thinking Can I just die now?) "I'm sorry Sir, I'm not that familiar with Charlemagne."
Amb: "You mean you don't know who Charlemagne is?? Where'd you go to high school?"
Me: "At the Colegio de la Inmaculada Concepcion, Sir."
Amb: "CIC. You mean the Daughters of Charity didn't teach you about Charlemagne?"
Me: "I'm sure they did, Sir. But I just can't recall right now."

FSO: "How much do you earn?"
Me: "Gross?" (Hahaha! I'm such a comedian.)
FSO: "Sure."
Me: "Blah blah a month, Sir." (To this they all looked at one another and sort of gestured that it's a good figure. I totally disagree, BTW.
FSO: "Are you aware that you'll be earning less than that if you become an FSO? Are you ok with that?"
Me: "I believe, Sir, that if you really like what you do then the monetary benefits are not that important."
To this, they all gave me a standing ovation and presented me with the Hero of the Year award. Joke.
Amb: "I'm touched by what you said..." (Char!)

Anyway, that's basically the 'highlights' of the interview. I'm really not sure how I survived, or even passed. It was such an out-of-body experience, and I remember I just kept smiling the whole time but in my mind I was praying for the ability to Apparate. Even my co-examinees told me that my questions were really harder than theirs.

For the written exams, let's just say it was the most stressful 3 days I've had in a long time. My mind turned to mush after all that essay-writing. Every time I read my test paper, I mentally kick myself and bang my head for subjecting myself to this kind of torture. I won't be writing the questions here because this entry's getting really long. But if any one out there plans to take the FSO exams soon, let me know and I'll share them with you.

Alright, so that's about it. The results for the written exams are supposed to be out by October or November, but I'm really not banking on passing. However, miracles do happen and they might happen to me again :) By the way, this is my First Thing #14- Taking the FSO exams.

This Is It!

The time has come. By tomorrow, I will be living (again) and working in Manila. I'm excited as hell, but I am also (if not more) scared as hell.

It has been 8 years since I've lived in Manila last and I'm getting really anxious just thinking about how I'll manage living in all that chaos again. The traffic, pollution, stress, high cost of living -- are all giving me lots of sleepless nights.

I know that in the first few years I've stayed here in Cebu after school, I have always wished of going back to the hustle and bustle of the capital. I've felt that the Cebu lifestyle's too laid-back (read: slow and boring) and that I needed to get out.

But now, looking back, I've realized that being here in Cebu did me lots of good. Aside from being able to spend more time with my family, I was able to do things here that I never thought I would, and I have also met some of the most wonderful people I now call friends. I have become a true-blue Bisdak and Cebu has definitely become home.

And now that I'm leaving home, I'm saddened by the fact that I'm leaving lots of people and memories behind. I'm fearful of the unknown challenges ahead of me, but I am also hopeful of the new chapter in my life. As they say, no success or reward is achieved without any risk. But I know that He'll always be with me and will guide me to where I ought to be.

The PEN Story

The PEN Story from PENStory on Vimeo.

Very nice stop motion technique! I especially like the hot air balloon and parachuting part.

I wish I can come up with something as creative as this...

Soundtrack Sunday: (I've) Had The Time of My Life

I know that I've been gone for almost two weeks, but I had to be away and do some heavy-duty stuff related to this and this. I'll write a separate and more detailed entry on my very tiring vacation last week, but for now let's talk about Soundtrack Sunday on a Monday shall we? :)

I first watched Dirty Dancing when I was 13 or 14, and boy did I love that movie! School was out, I was home on a summer day and the movie was being shown on cable. It had the perfect formula for a summer movie- dancing, singing, and of course romance. Oh how I wished I was Jennifer Grey at that moment, dancing and romancing with Patrick Swayze... sigh. Nothing gets to me more than a guy who knows his way on the dance floor. Goosebumps!



Dirty Dancing defined a generation and I think people will remember this movie for a long, long time. Anyhoo, that's my memory of the song/movie. What's yours?

P.S. I wanted to post the last scene in the movie where they danced (I've) Had The Time of My Life. But I couldn't find a version which allowed video embedding. Also, I apologize if my ramblings don't make any sense (exactly why they're called ramblings, right?), that's because I left my brain in the auditorium of the DFA building last week. Can somebody pick it up and return to the owner please?

Soundtrack Sunday: Invisible Man

Warning: The next scene might make you puke.

I'm seventeen years old, sitting inside a VW Beetle, late on a school night. We just came from a play rehearsal and a friend (who also happens to be my crush) is driving me home.

We're talking about our current favorite songs and I bring up Invisible Man by 98 Degrees. He said he's never heard it and so I sing it to him. And I mean I sing it to him because I felt that I was the invisible woman... Yuck. Blech. Really cheesy, I know. You can't say I didn't warn you.



So that was my embarrassing memory of that song. What's yours?

Soundtrack Sunday: As Long As It Matters

Okay, after getting over the high from Germany winning the game against Argentina 4-0, (disclaimer: I don't watch football, I just want to know who wins hehe) the featured song for this Sunday is Gin Blossoms' As Long As It Matters.

Summer of 1995, when guitar playing was coolest thing, I decided to teach myself to play one. So I grabbed my guitar and a songbook and strummed my fingers off all summer long. As Long As It Matters was one of the first songs I learned to play, not only because it was popular, but also because it just had 4 chords: G D Em C. Imagine this: playing the guitar while singing like a rock star... how cool is that??



Don't ask me to play it now because I don't remember a single chord anymore. Like many of my artistic endeavors (playing the piano, ballet, drawing, etc.), this is another thing I have not followed through and finished til the end. Just goes to show how fickle-minded I am and how easily get bored with something. Maybe I have ADHD?

Anyhoo, that was my memory of this song. What's yours?

P.S. Happy Fourth of July!

Soundtrack Sunday: You Get What You Give

Sunday is here once again, and you know what that means- another episode of Soundtrack Sundays.

Our featured song for today is You Get What You Give by the New Radicals.

Rewind to 10 years ago. I'm still in college. It was a Saturday night (or Sunday morning already to be exact), I am in bed watching TV. I couldn't sleep yet and nothing's on except... (Baduy alert!) Walang Tulugan by Kuya Germs himself. Haha! Too bad if you're not Filipino because you wouldn't know this multicolored-tuxedo-wearing-starmaker-slash-TV host. He's been in show business for like a thousand years, and the time slot of his TV show (usually starts at midnight, I think) is an indication of where he is in the popularity meter.

Anyway, one segment of the show featured a music video (complete with lyrics ala karaoke) and that night it was You Get What You Give. I like this song because I think it gives out a very practical message. Nothing will happen to you unless you get up and do something. I remember feeling that the first 2 lines, 'Wake up kids, We got the dreamers' disease', were being sung to me. As usual, I was wishing and dreaming of great things happening in my life but have not necessarily taken concrete steps in achieving them. What's new?



So that was my memory of this song. What's yours?

P.S. I don't make a habit of watching Kuya Germs' show, ok. Just to make it clear.

Introducing: Soundtrack Sundays

For lack of anything new to do and write about, I've decided to start Soundtrack Sunday. Every Sunday, I'll post songs we've not heard for the longest time, and I'm hoping you guys share your memory of it.

I came up with this because I noticed that every moment of my life has a particular song associated with it. Whenever I hear a song, I remember where I was (literally and figuratively) when I first heard it and all the fond memories associated with it. So I thought, why not reminisce and write about old times through song?

Ok, so to start off, I'm posting here Solveig Sandnes' Marie. I remember I was 13 or 14 when I saw her video on MTV. It was the 90s and at that time MTV was the biggest thing. I remember I watched MTV for almost the entire day and I knew all the Top 10 songs by heart. Anyhoo, Marie was one of them and I remember hearing it always made me smile. It was, and still is, my song for my sister.



I tried to look for the original video, but apparently not a lot of people remember this song, so I couldn't find one.

So if you're one of the cool people who have heard Marie, 'Where were you when this
song was famous?'

The Great Procrastinator

Here I am at quarter to midnight, with the laptop on my bed, trying to compose an essay on why I want to become a Foreign Service Officer and why I should be one. And as usual, when presented with an all-important task, I get stuck and I procrastinate.

This always happens to me. In college, when we were required to turn in term papers, I usually spend hours and hours in front of the computer just to finish a one-page essay. Why? Because after every few sentences, I stop to play Solitaire. My excuse was that I need to take a break in order for my creative juices to start flowing. Whatever. I knew I was only kidding myself.

So now, I find myself in the same predicament, but with an all-new diversion: the Internet (well, more specifically Facebook). My excuse now is that I need inspiration. Total Lame-o, I know. But not totally un-true as I'm trying to dig deep and find the real reason why I'm doing this.

Anyhoo, so in my mindless FB browsing, I came across an old message a friend sent me. I think re-reading this brought me more distraction than inspiration. Just read on.

If A Man Wants You
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man & his behavior.
Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slow is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't be "friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think it will get better.
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later.

You can not change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.

Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Don't make him into a quasi-god.
He is man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending.
Compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships.
There is nothing cute about baggage.
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you.
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.
Look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes.
When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him-- he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others...

---------
Just an update. I have not finished what I was supposed to write until now, and it's already past 12:30am on my watch. See? Even this post took me almost an hour to write. Sheesh.

Fave Song of the Moment

This song makes me smile in the mornings and want to skip along on my way to work. Imagine that!

Sinking Feeling

Lately, I've realized that I've been looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I've always thought that everything's fine with the world and nothing could go wrong. Call it naivete or plain stupidity, but I thought that if you don't think of or face a problem, it doesn't exist.

So when reality bit me, it bit me hard in the ass. This rude awakening felt like I was helplessly falling into this sinkhole...



I really don't know how I'm going to get out of this mess, but I'm praying I get out of it soon. Hopefully unscathed and much stronger.

Why May 27 Was a Good Day

This is one of the reasons why my 30th is officially the best birthday ever!

Now, off to an intense 2-month review session...

Simple Joys

- Laughing so hard it makes me cry
- Making people laugh
- The smell of coffee
- Long comfortable silences
- Waking up Sunday morning to sikwati, champorado or taho
- Sleeping in
- My pet dog welcoming me home after a long and tiring day at work
- Finding extra money in my pocket
- Bookstore air
- Popping bubble wrap
- Singing out loud while driving
- Watching Friends reruns
- Hearing my favorite song being played on the radio
- Listening to the waves of the sea
- Receiving handwritten letters
- The sound and smell of rain

Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I'm having a literary dry spell. I can't seem to think of any thing to write about. Just goes to show how boring my life has been lately. No happy/exciting things, no life-changing news (there is actually, but I choose not to busy myself with it yet as it has not fully sunk in. I still have 2 months to go anyway.), and no First Thing too.

I hope things pick up in the next week before another month ends. Sigh.

Daily Affirmations

Lately I've received news about some major changes that's about to happen in my life. And with the news came feelings of anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt. (Although I think I am much more excited than worried, about the prospects of doing new things in a new environment. Yehey!)

I guess I have a few things to learn from this kid. I should start doing this tomorrow morning, haha! :)

I Got Inked (and Irked)

The whole family was up by 5am as we were all raring to vote. We got to the school by 6:30am and noticed there weren't many people there yet. I got priority number 17, so that's not so bad, I was still included in Batch 1.

By 7:30am, our batch was called inside the room and I felt relieved because I thought we didn't have to wait that long. Apparently, we still had to wait until the teachers brought out the ballots from its sealed box, while the pollwatchers, well, watched. Voting was supposed to start by 7am but the teachers had to wait for the pollwatchers (each political party sends its own pollwatcher/s to every precinct) before they open the ballots. This already irritated some of us, because isn't it their duty to come in earlier than the voters and all the preparation should have been done before any of us got there? My dad says sometimes it's their tactic- to come in late, which subsequently delays the start of voting. Nice.

But this was still tolerable. After a few minutes, Voter #1 was already called. It took the teacher-in-charge (who I'll refer to as T1 from now on) several minutes to give her the ballot. Same thing happened with the next 3 voters. Thirty minutes have passed, and only 5 people have been given ballots! And, once a voter is done, it's still T1 who assists him in feeding his ballot to the machine. A few people (mainly members of my family, hehe) voiced out their protest to this very inefficient process. I mean, why would it take several minutes to hand out a blank ballot? And why are the other teachers not doing anything?! Their answer? It's the COMELEC's process, T1 is the only one who can go near the PCOS machine. T1 even retorted, we have different lists to check as you belong to different precincts so "di na madali-dali" (this can't be rushed). Pardon my French, but WTF?!

Then, to make matters worse, the lovely teachers decided to prioritize the senior citizen voters. (I'm sorry, I love teachers, but this is one instance where I think their common sense was thrown out the window) Once a voter from our batch is done, they let one senior citizen in. This delayed handing out of the ballots even more. This is in no way to disrespect our elders, but I just think this is not fair. We have made an effort to come in really early so that we can finish early, shouldn't the 'first come first served' rule apply here? It's not as if the people they called in were ailing. My mom blew her top when an elderly couple (of good health, mind you. They just had the good fortune of being 60 years old) was let in, even after we complained of the long wait. She said that if they were really prioritizing senior citizens, why didn't they let the old man included in our batch go before all of us. He was older than they are and was even having a hard time walking.

Amidst all the chaos, the school principal (I think) finally stepped in and told T1 to just hand out the blank ballots and she also asked one of the other teachers to help in checking the voters' names on the list to speed things up. This caused everyone in the room to applaud. In hindsight though, I think that handing out the ballot prior to checking a person's name on the voters' list is a bad idea. What if, after feeding the ballot to the machine and getting a confirmation that your vote has been counted, your name is not on the list? Would it invalidate the rest of the votes?

Anyway, I finally got to vote and was finished by 8:30am. It took me a mere 5 minutes of the whole 2-hour ordeal to shade the 'bilog na hugis itlog' beside my candidates' names. Now I understand why some people get frustrated and just opt not to vote. The heat, the waiting, confusion and chaos are probably too much to take. But for me, after all I've been through, I would still gladly do it all over again. I think this is just a small sacrifice that every Filipino should make to show one's love for our country.

And oh, before I forget, this is my First Thing # 13. It's my first time participating in an automated election, and my first time voting in Cebu.

Oh my vote!

Election Day is just a few hours away, and I can't help but feel anxious for my country.

This is the first time we'll have an automated one and problems have been surfacing even as of this writing: machines not working, power failure, and security threats. Despite these, the COMELEC has assured the public that it's all systems go for tomorrow. I sincerely hope that they are right.

But amidst all the brouhaha, what gives me hope is that I think Filipinos are now more concerned with our government's future. More and more Pinoys are making themselves aware of our country's issues and are being less apathetic to our current situation. I know of people my age who will be voting again after a long time,(myself included, as I have not voted for the last 3 elections. Yes, I am very ashamed of this.) or for the very first time, and I take this as a very good sign.
I say, awareness is the first step to making positive change.

Others have even taken on a more proactive stance by taking to the streets and campaigning for their bet, by sharing vital information about each candidate and help us make informed choices, or by simply wearing their candidate's color. I have never seen the country, since the 1980s, be filled with people who wear
their political hearts on their sleeves. And I think this is the beauty of democracy. Every one is entitled to make their choice, and not be condemned for making that choice.

So I'm urging every one reading this to please pray for our country. May our democracy be protected, and may this election bring out only the best in everyone. May peace reign throughout the country and from this, may the rightful leaders we need and deserve emerge victorious.

Up in the Air

The next set of my First things have one thing in common- heights. After doing these, I had a sudden realization that I might have been more of a bird than a fish in my past life. Other than the fact that I do not know how to swim, maybe the reason why I'm more comfortable in the air than underwater is that I love the adrenaline rush! I just love that funny sensation I get in the pit of my stomach when I lean over the edge of a building or how my knees get a tad bit weaker when I imagine myself falling off a cliff. I don't know, I'm just crazy that way.

Anyway, here are the blood-pumping things I've done lately, in chronological order and degree of difficulty, hehe.

First Thing #10 - Do the Skywalk and Ride the Edge Coaster.
These two attractions have been here in Cebu for like two years or so already, but I have not really gotten around to doing them until last month.

My friend and I went there in the evening, which I think is a good idea if you're a bit of an acrophobe because you don't see much down below and you're distracted by the beautiful night lights of the city.

Between the two though, I prefer the Edge Coaster because it gave me more thrill (and more laughs too, because my friend kept shrieking the whole time!). In Skywalk, you basically walk along a glass path on the side of the building and pose for some pictures. That's it. But with the Edge Coaster, you're seated in a coaster at the edge of the building (I wonder where the Edge Coaster got its name) and you can tilt this to like 55 degrees or something so you can see the busy streets below you. Exciting!

Good thing I did these before the next two things. Else, I would have been sorely disappointed. You'll see why.



First Thing #11 - Ride the Suislide.
A few friends and I decided to go to Bohol last weekend to go on an extreme adventure. We've planned this trip for months and the 3 main activities on our agenda would be the Suislide, the Plunge and caving.

I have tried the zipline before so I wasn't too keen on taking the Suislide. I mean I didn't get scared or anything, I just wanted to try something new that's why I had my eyes set on doing the Plunge. But when we got to E.A.T. Danao, I found out that it's not like the usual zipline where you're in a seated position and hold on to something that looks like a bike's handlebars. Instead, you'll be hanging facedown and travel from one hill to another (think Superman). Now, who would resist the chance to be able to 'fly' for even just a few minutes? Not me!

The ride was more relaxing than scary. Since you're just lying facedown, you get a bird's view of the hills, trees, and the river below. I think anyone, even the faint-hearted, could do this. If you're really scared, you can do this with someone since it can allow 2 riders at the same time. But I suggest you do this alone. Superman trumps the Wonder Twins, right? ;)



First Thing #12 - Take the Plunge.
All I can say is, this is the best ride yet! Nothing beats the heart-pumping and head-throbbing adrenaline rush you get from being dropped from the edge of a cliff with just a harness stopping you from falling to your death.

Okay, okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration. The Plunge is safe as safe can be and the operator guys look like they really know what they're doing (thank heavens for that, right?). So, if you can get past the fact that you'll be hanging and swinging from a few thousand feet above ground, then this ride's for you.

The Plunge is some sort of version of a bungee jump. They put the harness on you, and then you're asked to walk to the edge of the plank and sit down (pretty much like how the pirates make their captives jump off the ship). Then you're slowly lowered to a couple of feet (you can do this in a seated position or head-first and upside down), then dropped to a free fall, and finally swung like a pendulum.

I must say, this gave my lungs the much-needed exercise and I was able to finally release some pent-up emotions. The free fall was the best part for me because for a split-second you wonder what would happen if the harness broke and you actually fell down to the ground. But before you can push the image of your mangled body out of your head, you find yourself already swinging and shouting like Tarzan. Aaaah-aaah-aahhhh!!!



Hopefully these four things are just warm-up for my ultimate goal: skydiving! I'm really praying that the universe (and my wallet!) conspires with me on this one, and let me do this before I get too old or too scared.

A Rendezvous with Ebony and Ivory

I'm happy to say that I just had a surprisingly pleasant evening.

Rewind to a few days ago. A client called me up in the office and asked me if I'm into music. Now, this is a 70-year old woman asking me if I like music so I wasn't really sure if that was a trick question or what. So I said yes (a bit hesitantly, I think). She then asked me if I wanted to go to a piano concert, because if so, she could get me free tickets. What do you answer to that???

OK, the last time I watched a piano concert was about 15 years ago. I was still in high school then, and you can just imagine the effort I put into trying to stay awake. Don't get me wrong, the artist was very good (it was Cecile Licad, for crying out loud!) and I also appreciate classical music. But I was still very young then and I have not yet developed that 'cultured' side of me (ehem!), so you could say that I found it too mature for my liking.

So armed with my iced Cafe Mocha and the determination not to fall asleep, I went to the event with my victim, Jude. We were actually a bit surprised that it was well-attended, and that the age-group wasn't as old as I initially feared. In fact, there were several young people there (read: people my age) and lots of personalities often seen in the society pages. Apparently, the concert was courtesy of the Ambassador of Israel and the Arts Council of Cebu, and it featured two young Israeli pianists: Yaron Kohlberg and Bishara Harouni.

Suffice it to say that I didn't fall asleep, and I even enjoyed the whole performance. The two guys were very talented (it also didn't hurt that they were both good-looking, hehe) and both played their solos and duets wonderfully. All emotions were beautifully conveyed with every stroke of the piano keys, and seeing them play was very mesmerizing. I thought to myself, if I had only finished my piano lessons and took them to heart, I'd probably be as good as they are now. Haha! Yeah, right.

Seriously though, what I admired most about them was their passion for music. It was very evident that they love what they do. I have always been jealous of people like that, and I've often wondered what that feels like. I'm thinking maybe, if you love what you're doing, you would gladly spend every bit of your time and energy on it until you think you have nothing left, and still find the heart to do it all over again the next day. You might experience all the disappointments, hurts and frustrations, but nothing else can also give you that much joy and peace. How I wish I could find my true passion! But I digress. That's too deep a realization for an hour of Chopin and Schubert.

All in all, I'm glad that I was asked to go that concert and I'm glad that I did. Aside from the wonderful music, it also brought back good memories and it gave me a much-needed kick to go after what I really want. As they say, things always happen for a reason and that we are where we were meant to be.

Act your Age

People, especially older ones, often say: "Act your age!"

But does anybody really know how to do that? Not me, definitely.

If the 2 "first things" I did on my birthday were any indication of my age, you'd probably think I just turned 18 or something. (Notice the subtle self-flattery there? :P) Subconsciously, maybe I was trying to do these hoping to turn back time or maybe suspend it for just a little while.

So here are the 'non-adult' things I've done recently. Nothing major, but still...:

First Thing #8 - Not being allowed to drive my own car after partying.
No, I didn't get grounded by my parents. Worse. I wasn't allowed by my friends I was partying with, to drive myself home. It's kind of embarrassing actually. Does that mean, the fact that they didn't think I was fit to drive, sort of translates to me finally getting drunk? Huh.

All those who know me, know very well that I have an insanely high tolerance for alcohol. I can probably outdrink any macho guy (and I did, once or twice) and not feel a thing, save for a little dizziness. But that night I wasn't in the right mental and physical condition. I was tired and only had 4 hours of sleep, that's why I easily fell prey to intoxication. Damn you, Absinthe!

Anyway, I was forced to leave my car in the mall parking lot and a friend brought me home by cab. I went back the next day to get it, and got an unexpected birthday surprise: a P1,000 overnight parking fee. Now, this would have been number 9 on my 'first things' list had I not experienced this before. ;)

But let me make this clear, I am very much against drunk driving. And kids, don't drink and drive!

First Thing #9 - Take an exam with a hangover.
So after the early morning partying mentioned above (I went home around 2am), I woke up at 6am to take the FSO exam. My mom accompanied me to the exam venue, and she wondered where my car was. I just told her vaguely, "I left it in BTC".

Anyway, the whole thing is a bit hazy. Everyone there must've thought I was a bit of a loser because I kept dozing off while waiting for the exam to start. But I had to do this with my head upright or everything around me starts spinning. I was sleepy, hungry and hungover. (I also forgot to bring a pen, when it was specifically mentioned to bring one. So I ended up borrowing from the proctor. Yup, now I'm positive they thought I was a loser.)

I've never gone to class, let alone take an exam, with a hangover before even when I was in college. (I may have been late for an exam, or have dozed off while taking one. But that's another story.) That's why I kinda found it funny that I had to do this now, for a very important exam at that.

I can't remember much of the questions now and I'm surprised I even got to answer them. But I was the second one to finish the exam! I'm just not sure if it's because the exam was easy or because I was just really eager to be done with it. I'm praying that I pass, though. Hopefully, Lady Luck was smiling down upon me and will let me pass just because it's my birthday. :)

---------------
So those were the 2 crazy things I did on my special day. Just a little clarification, though. The things I have been doing and writing about here are not necessarily on my Bucket List (who, in their right mind, hopes to take an exam while drunk, before dying?). I'd like to think that I have more meaningful and less selfish aspirations than these. :P

All I'm doing is trying out new things I've never done before. It makes life more interesting, don't you think? So go out there and do things you've never done before. It doesn't have to be big or bold, just as long as it's something new.
As Charles Muntz of the movie Up says, "Adventure is out there!"

Musings of a 30-year old child

I intended to publish this post on my birthday, but I wasn't able to. Life got in the way, I guess. Better late than never, right?

I don't know why my birthday always makes me melancholic. Maybe it's because that day forces me to take a step back and reflect on how my past year went. It's hard to be confronted with ghosts of the past who, more often than not, turn out to be unwelcome guests. It's kind of a downer when you find yourself faced with past actions that you're not proud of, or worse, be riddled with thoughts of "shoulda, woulda, coulda's".

So you can just imagine how my 30th is an especially dreaded event. As a kid, I have already thought of the things I will do and have when I'm older. In my mind, by age 30 I would be a successful career woman (my career varied depending on my mood- I'd be a theater actress, an Oscar-winning director, a lawyer, an architect, or a diplomat), I'd have my own house and own car, I'd be rich, have travelled the world, and I'd have someone special by my side. Well, if my 10-year old self saw me now, she'd be sorely disappointed (think Bruce Willis' The Kid).

However, I thought, why should I waste my time being depressed when I could choose to embrace life and celebrate it? As the song Point of View goes, "Can't you see, life's easy? If you consider things in another point of view". Life could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it.

That's why instead of moping around and griping about old age and things I haven't got and done, I've decided to list down things I'm grateful for. Things that have made my 30 years emotion-filled, colorful and wonderful ones. My life may not have turned out the way I imagined and wanted it to be, but I can say that I am very much ok with it. I have been very blessed.

So please indulge me with a little mushiness here. You know I'm not typically sentimental and all gooey inside, so I'm pleading temporary insanity and I'm blaming this on alcohol and old age! :)

Here goes. I'm thankful/grateful for:

1. My parents. Well, aside from the most obvious reason that I wouldn't be here without them, I'm thankful that they are who they are. You gotta be made of tough stuff to raise a child like me, given that I have always been outspoken, strong-willed and independent. So for them to put up with my craziness for 30 years, they deserve to be considered for sainthood at the very least. They've showered us with love, given me and my siblings a comfortable life, often making sacrifices to shield us from pain and hardships. And for that I will forever be grateful.

2. My siblings. Growing up with 3 younger siblings has been a fun ride. It was always nice to have someone to bully. Haha! Just kidding. Seriously, I couldn't imagine growing up without my brothers and sister. They have been unwilling witnesses to my infamous mood swings, and a loyal audience to my jokes and funny antics. We've survived several adventures and misadventures, often with scraped knees and bruised arms. We have had our differences and gone through rough patches in the past, but what brother or sister has not experienced that? At the end of the day, we're still bound by love and blood, and nothing can change that. I love you guys dearly and will fight for you to the death. I am and will always be your Ate.

3. Friends. How lonely would life be, if one doesn't have friends! Best friends, good friends, work friends, college friends, high school friends, old friends and new friends: I thank all of you for being there with me in my life's highs and lows. In some way or another, you have shaped me into who I am now. Life's a party with all of you around. :)

4. Health. I'm far from being fit or in shape, but I'm just thankful that I don't have any illness or disease. I don't care if I don't have a Victoria's Secret model body, as long as I'm not sick I'm happy.

5. My job. It may not be my dream job and I may gripe about it often, but I am still very thankful that I have it. In this current economic environment, I am very lucky to be employed as I'm sure there are millions out there who'd die to trade places with me. If not for my job, I won't have money (obviously), I'd never have been able to travel, and I'd never have met some of the most wonderful people I now call friends. So, thank you, job! :)

6. Books. Growing up without books would have been a nightmare! They have been my constant companions (together with TV) all throughout my childhood. They have opened up the world to me and have showed me some of the best adventures of my life. I wouldn't have known Harry, Mr. Darcy and the Corleones or have gone to Mordor, Neverland, and Tara without them. I'd say me and books, have the greatest love affair.

7. Being Filipino. The Philippines may be far from perfect-- what with poverty, corruption, huge foreign debt, and all the other problems facing it-- but I'd never trade it for any other country. How can one not love the wonderful weather, magnificent natural resources, and amazing people? I guess that's why we're one of the happiest people in the world, because we always manage to see the brighter side in every bad situation. I love the Philippines, warts and all. I just hope all the other Filipinos see what I see in her.

8. Self-love. This one's 30 years in the making. It's more than being self-confident and believing in myself. I love myself enough to embrace my flaws and accept that they are part of who I am. I am more comfortable in my own skin now, and I couldn't care less what people think of how I look. I have my own opinions and am not afraid to share them (as long as I don't hurt anyone, of course). Love starts with one's self. If you don't love your own self, who else would?

9. Being a woman. I used to wish I had been a guy, because I thought I could do more- travel alone to different places, get ahead in the corporate ladder, et cetera. But I have slowly realized that I could do all those things and more. I have seen lots of women change the world, and they do it with much passion, strength, and grace. I've never been more proud of being a woman!

10. Being Alive. This I owe to God. He's the one who's given me life, and He could easily take it away. I guess the reason why I'm still here is that I have yet to serve my purpose on Earth. I'm not sure yet on what His plans for me are, but I know I'll be fine because He is with me.


The list is long, but since I'm not here to write a novel, the 10 will do for now. Suffice it to say that I have a million other things to be thankful for, and all of them will forever be treasured in my heart.

P.S. My 30th birthday celebration was a blast, thanks to a 3-day weekend partying. I had so much fun, too much booze, and too many things to do that I didn't have time to wallow in self-pity. Cheers to 30!

Paramore

I have heard of Paramore's songs before-- That's What You Get and Ignorance -- but I have never really been a fan of theirs. Oddly, they remind me of Sixpence None the Richer, only more rock.

But when I heard the cover they did for Kings of Leon's Use Somebody, I thought they're pretty good. I even like their version more than the original.



I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

But their best song yet, in my opinion, is The Only Exception. It may have weak vocals, especially in the chorus part (hmm, I sounded a bit like an American Idol judge there), but I really like the lyrics. Reminds me of someone? Eherm. Haha.



When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin'
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
Ooh Ooh...

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Tsk, tsk...

I recently bought this Civil Service Examination reviewer (published by a review center that boasts of producing topnotchers), to prepare for an upcoming exam. While answering the English practice tests, I've already noticed grammatical errors here and there. I tried to ignore them, (Er, not really. I kept complaining to my brother that I wasted Php295 on this thing) but after 30 minutes of torture I finally decided to stop reading.

Here's one of the 'trick' questions. The instruction was to identify which one of the 4 sentences contains an error.

a. We have lived in Bukidnon since 1960.
b. I think we will be making it our home because father and mother think it is a good place to bring up children.
c. Before 1960, my parents live in Iloilo where they both taught at one of the schools there.
d. We find Malaybalay a peaceful place and a healthful one, free from the distractions of city life.
e. No mistakes.

Hmp. So now I've decided that I'll just depend on good 'ole stock knowledge.

First Things First

Okay, I know I've been really really delinquent in working on my 30 First Things list. I've only managed to do 4 new things since the time I decided to come up with one (my previous entries only talked about 3 things, the 4th one shall remain nameless here :)). But I think I more than made up for it this week. I got to do 3 new things, namely:

First Thing #5 - Eat at Larsians.
Larsians is a famous 'kinowboy'-style barbecue place here in Cebu, so people here can't believe I haven't even been there. So last Tuesday, we brought a couple of Swedish friends to Larsians, to taste some authentic Cebu streetfood. The food was okay and the place reminded me of the chili crab place we went to in Singapore. I can't say though that it's for those with weak stomach. :P

First Thing #6 - Paintball!
I've always wanted to try this one, together with Airsoft, since combat-type of games really appeal to me. But I've always been scared of being hurt. I was really anxious while we were being suited up but the adrenaline kicked in when we were already playing. I wasn't as aggressive as the boys, but I managed to make a hit or two and I didn't even get shot. So overall, it was a good way to be roughened up :)



First Thing #7 - Go kart-racing.
This is another thing I've been dying to try out, so I'm really glad we did this right after we played paintball. I didn't go as fast as I intended because thanks to my really long legs, I couldn't quite reach the accelerator and the wheels keep turning right so they are a bit hard to steer. (*Ehem* Excuses, excuses) But I would definitely do this again to satisfy my need for speed!



Because of these, you might say I had a great week. But I really need to step up if I want to finish my list before the year ends. 23 to go!

Being Jane

(I stumbled upon this article in today's paper. It struck a chord in me, as it somehow verbalized how I've been feeling lately. So now I'm sharing this to all my fellow Janes out there...)

Being Jane
- by Crisel Consunji for Youngblood

I went to this whole adventure trying to find my Tarzan. I ended up finding myself.

A few months before flying to Hong Kong to work, someone asked me, "What do you plan to do there?"

"Oh," I answered. "Perhaps I'll visit Disneyland and find my Tarzan."

My friend laughed off my silly reverie. "You're kidding, right?" he said.

"No," I said with the straightest face possible. "I'm sure he's out there somewhere. He has probably evolved out of his loincloth and is now looking for his Jane."

The joke was that perhaps I would finally meet my Tarzan, the hunk of a guy who would literally and figuratively sweep me off my feet. Maybe--just maybe--when environments change and new people are shuffled in front of your eyes, the man of your dreams sort of materializes before you.

So after I packed my bags and hopped on that plane, I looked into the first mirror I could find, and said to myself, "Crisel, you're going to find the love of your life." I was very sure I would find someone who would swing above the ravines of life with me.

That's where the joke ends, though not the humor.

One thing I realized during the last two years of being away from home is that whenever we go off searching for something, we never find what we started the search for. We find something better than we ever hoped.

Surprisingly, in spite of the fact that I was free to do whatever I wanted, had Lan Kwai Fong (Hong Kong's night-life district) a train ride away, and was surrounded by people so diverse that they would do the United Colors of Benetton campaign proud, I found that I preferred the peace and quiet of home to the late-night parties of the city.

And then it hit me: There is so much romance in being alone.

Have you ever tried going off to the bay and watching the sunset, without ever thinking that you need someone to share it with? Have you ever tried getting lost in a jungle of people, only to find that the noise outside does not drown the strong force of your silent thoughts? Have you ever tried to stop searching for love everywhere else, and begun to realize that you have all that you need with and around you?

In a weird and crazy way, I admit I have.

And in that time, I realized that there was still so much room to grow, a lot of experiences to learn from, and time to discover who I am, and who I would like to be. And that's the whole point: to love another person, you must know how to be one. And that only happens when you have had enough time to figure out your own life.

I am still in that process. And well, yes, once or twice I actually considered giving my heart away--and once or twice I may have shed tears of frustration. But at the end of the day, I realized that nothing and no one should come between me and my heart. We all choose to risk--and we all should. Because risk tests our courage, and pain strengthens our resiliency.

But at the end of the day, we all come to the discovery that our hearts are very precious. And at one point in time, we have to make it stop searching, hold it still and remember that love does not want to be found. It finds us.

And it will find you.

Don't be frustrated if no one seems to want the heart you are putting out there. Someone in the universe deserves it, and in the right time, he will be revealed to you.

Don't waste your time offering your heart to people who will not see it for what it's worth. Instead, hold it and nurture it. Nurture the love inside you, and save it for the person worth giving it to. And when that person comes, you will be so happy you gave it whole--without scratches--and lovingly nourished by all the patience you have spent on striving to be a better person. Let our prayers not be that we might find the right one soon, but rather that we might become the right person for that person destined to be with us for the rest of our lives.

Call me hopeless, but I believe it's true. You don't have to wait for Tarzan. After all, he might still be figuring out whether he wants to walk on two feet--or four limbs. (And what would you do while the monkey contemplates his life?) But as long as you find the Jane inside of you, you will never be afraid to swing through all this.

Jane, you're beautiful. And you're going to be just fine!

Thinking Out Loud

Has anybody wondered why 'Love' is Pagmamahal or Mahal in Filipino, and has the same translation with 'Expensive'?

So if Love = Mahal and Expensive = Mahal; then does this mean Love is expensive? :P

Just thinking out loud.

What's a 'Hoe'?

Jeopardy is one of my most favorite TV shows of all time. I enjoy it because, aside from the occasional ego-boosters when I get the answers right, you can pick up a lot of new things, and at the same time get a few laughs from it. Here's one of those funny moments:





I actually answered the same thing, haha! :)

3rd First Thing

First Thing #3 - Join a fun run.
If waking up at 4am is hard enough, try doing it for a 5k run. Now, I'm definitely not the athletic type so this challenge was something else. Although I had a hard time breathing most of the way, giving up was never an option. Finishing the race is such an achievement for me. I don't regret doing it, and I hope to do more of this in the future.

30 First Things

In light of my upcoming 3rd decade, I decided to do 30 things I haven't done before as countdown to the big event. This would make the next 3 months interesting and make me look forward to that day, rather than dread it.

So far, I think I've done 2 first things in the past months.

First Thing #1 - Wear contact lenses.
This really scared me, because the thought of poking my eyes really freaked me out. But then again, armed with the determination to try something new, I overcame my fear and finally did it. We only live once, so might as well live it with clearer vision, right?

First Thing #2 - Learn a new language by myself.
For the past couple of months, I've been learning German through an audiobook. People at work have been looking at me funny for muttering unintelligible words while listening to my iPod. Doesn't matter, this new skill will definitely help me in the future. Guten Tag, Deutscheland! :)

Well, that sums up my very very short list. I still have 28 to go. Any suggestions? I'll try to write about the next 28 things, and post pictures for each :)

2009 Chinese Horoscope

Zodiac's nature:
Lively, quick-witted, amusing, vain, resourceful, intelligent, sensible,unconventional, inventive, mischievous, innovative, independent, a fastlearner with good memory, good in social skills but can be selfish andegoistic. Good at problem solving, ambitious, but prone to laziness.

There are two luck stars shining bright upon the Monkeys; their luck is in the upswing. It is a good year for them to exhibit their leadership. Everything goes smoothly, and they can reach their goals without so many difficulties. A promotion at work is also possible this year. Money luck is quite good, so they should grab this opportunity to maybe start their own business. With their leadership and communication skills, they are able to succeed over the competition. However, they have to beware of the "Spending Star" which is under their sign that will cause them to lose or spend a lot of money. In love affairs, it is a romantic year for the Monkeys. Single Monkeys should travel, as they may meet their dream lover. It is a good year to get married for those who have been dating for a certain period of time. Married couples will enjoy happy events in the family cycle, but they have to keep away from temptation. Regarding health, they should avoid going home late in the evening and avoid going to funerals and wakes; otherwise they will easily absorb negative energy. Apart from this, they should pay attention to their personal safety, and to their diet and exercise routine.

Hmm, let's see if these things would all come true for me...

My name is...

You entered: Daisy Mae Vargas
There are 14 letters in your name.Those 14 letters total to 55There are 6 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Day's eye, from the old English. Also a flower name. Also a translation of the French Marguerite, and used as a pet form of Margaret.

Your number is: 1
The characteristics of #1 are: Initiating action, pioneering, leading, independent, attaining, individual.
The expression or destiny for #1:A number 1 Expression denotes the skilled executive with keen administrative capabilities. You must develop the capacity to be a fine leader, sales executive, or promoter. You have the tools to become an original person with a creative approach to problem solving, and a penchant for initiating action. Someone may have to follow behind you to handle the details, but you know how to get things going and make things happen. You have a good mind and the ability to use it for your advancement. Because of these factors, you have much potential for achievement and financial rewards. Frequently, this expression belongs to one running a business or striving to achieve a level of accomplishment on ones talents and efforts. You have little need for much supervision, preferring to act on your own with little restraint. You are both ambitious and determined. Self-confident and self-reliant must be yours, as you develop a strong unyielding will and the courage of your convictions.
Although you fear loneliness, you want to be left alone. You fear routine and being in a rut. You often jump the gun because you are afraid of being left behind.
The negative attributes of the 1 Expression are egotism and a self-centered approach to life. This is an aggressive number and if it is over-emphasized it is very hard to live with. You do not have to be overly aggressive to fulfill your destiny. The 1 has a natural instinct to dominate and to be the boss; adhering to the concept of being number One. Again, you do not have to dominate and destroy in order to lead and manage.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9
A Soul Urge number of 9 means: With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.
You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.
As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 1
An Inner Dream number of 1 means: You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

My Song for the Year

It's been a long, long time since I last heard this song. I feel like singing it again. :)

POINT OF VIEW by DB Boulevard

I don't have a cent
Will I pay my rent?
And even my car doesn't work.
Me and my man
He's the one to die for
We have split up

Can't you see
Life's easy
If you consider things
From another point of view
A ah ah ah ah ah
Oh oh yeah
In another way in another point of view
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeeah
Oh oh yeah

I see life and light
All the colours of the world
So beautiful
Won't you come with me
I see birds and trees
All the flowers of the world
So beautiful
Won't you come with me

Can't you see
Life's easy
If you consider things
In another point of view
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Oh oh yeah
In another way in another point of view

"Perfume - The Story of A Murderer"

Though most people found it gross, weird, and ugly, I simply loved it.