Closet Optimist

as much as i want to project a cynic-realist image, the teeny tiniest optimist part of myself is slowly taking over

but i'm blaming it to a delayed reaction to 'senior syndrome' and my recent 'quarter-life crisis'... i'm really getting old

here are the lyrics to my life's current theme song...


Ever After

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together
eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy, beautiful, twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we're still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you, I want to make it right

You are my twisted sunshine

Freedom

woohoo! been finally free for a week.

didn't know freedom and adulthood could be this scary...

A Quarter of a Century

i'm having what you call a case birthday anxiety. no matter what i'm doing or thinking on my "special" day, somehow it almost always turns out to be a not-so-good day. or maybe it's just a matter of perspective.

in a few days, i'll be turning 25-- i think life begins at 25. despite that anxiety, i just feel that something great is going to happen and that i will be able to accomplish lots of great things this year.

i'm changing my perspective. i am actually looking forward to what may happen on this day and the days that will follow. now i know this will be a happy year for me because i've decided that it will be one. and He will make it happen.

Crossroads

i am at a crossroads.

you're in a situation where you just have to choose. it may be difficult, but a choice has to be made.

it's always scary leaving something comfortable and tackling an unknown thing, which you actually know to be good for you.

i've read about this species of bird. the mother builds a nest on top of a really steep and rocky mountain. once her offsprings turn a few days old, she coaxes them out of the nest, and jumps off the cliff with the chicks following suit. some of these small birds don't make because they still can't fly and so they hit the ground and die. but a few also survive because they figure out that they just need to spread out their wings and the wind will help them fly.

i guess now i just need that little push off a cliff and start learning how to fly.

My First Entry

This is officially my first blog entry. Now I feel more productive, hehe.

Hope to create more meaningful entries than this in the next few days...